


Meet Me In Betweeen

by thewildheroine



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And an alcoholic, Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Character Turned Into a Ghost, F/M, Hurt Peter Parker, Infinity War spoilers, POV Female Character, Peter's dead in this, Slow Burn, Spoilers, angst with maybe a paragraph long happy ending, but a good friend all the same, depressed reader, female oc - Freeform, ghost Peter Parker, ghost au, he gone, oc is a drug addict, reader has the sixth sense, slow burn Peter Parker/Reader, very very sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-05-23 04:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14927427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewildheroine/pseuds/thewildheroine
Summary: Y/N was given a gift when she was born. A gift that she of course saw as a curse, so she kept it hidden away from the light of day, not wanting to suffer from the pain felt in the in between. The universe has come up with a punishment though, and as recompense, for her blissful ignorance, she must help one of the new in-betweeners reach the other side. As Y/N and her secret spider-friend try to figure out a way for him to pass over the waters become murky and she has to decide if this is really something she is willing to do.Peter thought he had died that day. Thanos had collected all the stones and without mercy, he wiped out half of the universe. Being apart of that half Peter expected to wake up at the gates of heaven or something close to that. Not across from an alive girl in her own bedroom, screaming her ears off. Lucky for him though, Y/N has a couple ideas of how to set him free from what she calls the “in between”. Much to Peter’s dismay though, setting a soul free so that it’s no longer bound to the Earth is a lot harder than he thought. Especially when he becomes enamored with the only person who can free him.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very, very angsty story. If you read Fly Away and thought that was angsty just know that this is so much worse. I'm really excited for you guys to read it though!!!

I stare out the window of the classroom. The early morning sun comes in thick rays past the skyscrapers. Our teacher drones on at the front drones on at the front of the class about the civil war or something close to that at least. My attention is on what is happening outside though. The sound of cars and people racing to get to work reverberate all the way from the streets and up into the class.

Abruptly I feel something brush against my elbow as though whatever it is is trying to grab me. I wave my hand around so people just think I’m discouraging a fly. Most of them already know the truth anyway. Well, they think they know the truth. Every single day I’m bombarded with questions about my ability to “see ghosts” and every day I try to explain to everyone that that isn’t how it works. Most of the time the inbetweeners that find me don’t actually mean to. In the between, the space I call that is stuck in the middle of the living and dead and world, people who have been lost for God knows how long meander around not knowing what is going on and occasionally bumping into me. I avoid them. At least I would if I could see them.

Whatever my gift is doesn’t allow me to use it to its full capability. I can only feel the inbetweeners. Their emotions as well as their bodies. Ever since I began high school I honed my ability to zone them out so I wouldn’t be called a weirdo.

The thing is, people did find out but they didn’t see me as the peculiar ghost girl. They adored me actually. I guess I have the Avengers to thank for that in a way. Because of them, my ability is seen as just another cool quirk rather than a curse. It’s made me popular in my school and people idolize everything about me because of the fact I can enter the in between.

Again, the invisible in-betweener bumps into my shoulder, and I shake my hand at them more so I can push whoever it is away. I ignore the transition when I go from the living world to the in between. Like always the empty class is covered in cobwebs. The world is dimmed by an eternal twilight that watches me nefariously. Instead of being able to see whoever is bumping into me I just see a warped space in the air that looks like a veil that is rimmed with a blurred rainbow.

I sigh and drop my head into my hands, willing the in-betweener to disappear. When he continues tapping my shoulder though I growl and look up at him or where I think he is at least. The tapping then stops and I can feel the glimmer of fear flowing through my head. The bulwark that guards my mind rises defensively, shutting off the emotions he has managed to force into my head.

“Y/N,” a voice next to me says. It isn’t his though. “Hey, adventurer lets go. If I’m late to astronomy again Ms. Hurley’s going to give me detention.” The in-betweener flickers away from my vision, reminding me of a dying light bulb. Once I return back to my world I have to let my eyes adjust to the amount of light pouring in through the windows. My eyes blink hard as I look up at Lily who taps her foot at me to show her sarcastic impatience.

“Sorry,” I shake my head and grab my backpack from the ground. The nearly weightless item hangs loosely on my figure as I stand and start walking out of the class with my friend. A crowd of people waits conspicuously outside, stalling to see the so-called ghost girl make her way to class.

“Move it, kids,” Lily hisses at them so that the crowd splits in half. “The adventurer isn’t doing interviews for underclassmen today.” I shoot each of them an apologetic smile before glaring back at my friend.

“I’m not doing any interviews for anyone ever,” I retort frustratedly before aggressively tearing my headphones out of the phone jack. Lily fakes disappointment while we begin mounting the flight of stares to astronomy.

“Awww,” she bemoans, randomly leaning against my body to be dramatic. I have to grab the metal railing for support. “Come on adventurer. Not even for those boy toys always checking you out?” I scoff and roll my eyes. My hand twists around my back and shoves the headphones into my back pocket.

“First of all I hate being called ‘the adventurer’,” I emphasize my point by mimicking quotes with my hands. “I don’t adventure. Sometimes I’m in the in-between and sometimes I’m here and also there are no guys checking me out.” Lily stops at the top landing, leaving me to push her away so we don’t block anyone’s path.

“Oh, come on Y/N!” she chuckles loudly. I close my eyes, not wanting to acknowledge all the eyes locked on us. “Eli has had his eyes on you since sophomore year,” I smirk and nod, almost able to find her ignorance humorous.

“Yeah,” I drone and turn towards our class. “Wonder why that is?”

“Don’t pull that Y/N,” Lily groans as she follows me into Ms. Hurley’s class. The entire ceiling is a window shaped like a dome which allows us to use her giant telescope. Thousands of dollars of the school budget had to have gone into this room alone. I wouldn’t expect less from a Montessori school. Especially one located in Manhattan.

“Don’t pull what Lily?” I ask placidly, honestly too annoyed at this point to react with any emotion.

“That whole, oh my life is so hard. No one really likes me as a person and they only want to hang around me because of my weird gifts.” I watch, bemused at how she slouches her shoulders and whines in a high voice to imitate me. I blink hard and shake my head, still wondering how that impression even resembles me.

“I am nothing like that,” I reply calmly. Lily straightens herself, brushing the invisible specks of dust off of her dress before grinning ear to ear.

“That is totally like you,” she smiles smugly. I open my mouth to begin arguing but the door shuts behind me loudly, signaling that Ms. Hurley just entered the class. My eyes stay pointedly on Lily for a moment more before I slump into my seat. Our teacher clumsily approaches her desk while trying to balance a mug of coffee in her hand. Much to our relief, she sets it down on the wood before any of the contents has a chance to spill over the edge.

She sighs tiredly before pulling up something up on her laptop. I half listen to her as she begins informing us about our class agenda. Just like in history class, my attention is dragged over to the window. My eyes stare out of it expectantly. Something pulls at my heart suddenly and I know that for the first time in a very long time it is my own heart speaking to me.

Without explaining myself, I stand from my chair and walk towards the glass. Everyone stalls for a moment, curious about what the hell I’m doing. Finally, Ms. Hurley calls for me to sit back down. Instead of listening to her directions though, I keep approaching the window. I’m barely able to breathe once I reach the glass. My heart palpitates too fast.

Reluctantly, I look up as much as I can, silently dreading what I may see. At first, I find nothing but the warm blue sky. A few birds coast on the wind but there is nothing extraordinary about what I’m looking at despite the feeling that still rages inside of me. My eyes stay on the sky though, not hoping but preparing for what will come. Finally, I see what was calling for me. Right when it enters our atmosphere it just looks like a black streak heading towards New York. The normal person wouldn’t think much of it. I’m anything but normal though.

“Get down,” I whisper while backing away. Whatever is up in the sky doesn’t slow down and I begin fearing the absolute worse. I turn around to see all my shocked peers staring up at me, probably thinking I may have just looked at a ghost. My eyes meet Lily’s though and she automatically knows that it can’t be that.

“Guys,” my voice raises from my panic. “You need to get-”

I don’t even get the chance to finish my sentence when the window behind me is blown out. My body flies forward before meeting the ground harshly. Luckily my arms wrapped around my head right when the impact happened, keeping me a little safe while I skid across the floor. I slam against the leg of a chair that was left in a hurry.

As I pull myself up I hear the screams of my classmates as they rush out of the door to escape what had just happened. I look up, the black spots getting in the way of me seeing all of what just fell to the Earth. Gusts of air keep entering the school as I stand.

Right outside of the class is a giant thing of metal. Mechanisms work together to keep it up in the air and off of the Earth’s soil. Not giving it a second thought, I step towards the ship, the cord connecting me to it taut and basically begging me to investigate. The wind being emitted from the growling circle of metal blows my hair around my face but I’m too focused on what I’m seeing to keep the strands from disrupting my line of sight.

The ship fills up the whole entire street. Debris fly around Greenwich wildly. Pieces of newspapers even manage to float up and into the classroom. I crouch to the ground instinctively, preferring not to risk capture by what may be inside.

“Y/N!” Lily shouts for me. I stand and turn around to face her as she sprints into the classroom. Her hands immediately rise to check my face for any injuries. She swipes her fingers at the cuts I hadn’t even known existed since I was so infatuated with the ship. “We need to go,” she gasps breathlessly while staring behind me. I glance away from her and watch in complete awe as the debris in the streets floats upwards. Before I can figure out how Lily pulls at my arms. She struggles as I drag my feet into the linoleum flooring. Only when she starts imploring me to run do I turn away from the catastrophe that is New York and out of the messy classroom with her.

Lily keeps leading me even when we get to the bottom floor of our school. Her hand stays on mine as she tugs me away from the front door where I can hear the sounds of a fight beginning. We run through the cafeteria, which may very well be the only room in our whole school that wasn’t destroyed by the ominous ship.

Finally, we exit the building and pant. Lily laughs, relieved by how she made it out of there alive. I know how much that means to her. She and I went through the original attack on New York together with our mothers. It terrified her even to this day. I, on the other hand, am anything but relieved.

I still hyperventilate fearfully as though there is not enough oxygen in the world to support every cell in my body for even a moment. My hands run themselves through my tangled hair, tugging out strands as they move across the scalp mercilessly. Again, I look up to the sky, still hunting for something that I don’t know.

Then I see him swing overhead. His red and blue suit is just a blur against the monochromatic backdrop but I recognize him in an instant as the Spider-Man. My heart falters when I realize he is rushing towards the invader. A tear falls from my eye when the superhero disappears behind our school, leaving me alone with my confusing emotions.

“Please don’t go,” I mumble, not knowing why I would say it in the first place. Even Lily looks at me strangely as I collapse to the ground in an emotional heap made of tears and blood. I wheeze against my hands that were nicked by the glass when the window shattered. I wish that it was someone else’s emotions in my head. An in-betweener who is still in shock from arriving in the new domain. It’s not though. The heartbreak I feel comes from my very own heart and soul and I don’t have any idea if I’ll ever know why.


	2. Back and Forth

My mother walks into my basic room elegantly so that she doesn’t spill a single drop of the chamomile and honey tea. She says that a clear space equals a clear mind, and with my “gift” that’s the absolute best I can ask for. Especially at a time such as this. My mother has based many philosophies off of said talent. All of which are meant to make me feel more comfortable with my own mind. The most memorable is that I’ve been given a chance to understand the in between so I may act on my knowledge and compel others to do everything in their power not to end up there. Throughout the years I’ve learned that my mother’s philosophies are a load of bullshit.

“I still can’t believe that happened today,” she announces while carefully setting down the tea next to the rock salt lamp I strongly objected to. “I mean, how many times does Manhattan need to get attacked before those freaking Martians just leave us be?” I nod numbly at her joke while she laughs. With an insincere chuckle, I flip to the next page of my book. She sits next to me on my bed, suddenly causing the mattress to dip under her weight.

“What’s up mom?” I grumble half-mindedly, too enthralled in my book to really pay much attention to my mother.

“You just seem quiet I guess,” she declares. “I know being there was hard, especially since you saw the original attack on New York first hand,” I drop my book to my lap and finally look up at her, “but I’m just afraid there’s more to it.” I feel the need to scream when she subtly refers to my gift. As always, she does so just enough for me to notice. Instead of forcing her out, I calmly twist my torso so that I can face her.

“I’m just upset that I had to spend an hour talking with a medical team,” I respond shortly.

“Your teacher said you were blown away from the window,” she retorts in a still soothing voice.

“I barely felt it.” I try to show that the conversation has reached its end by falling backward onto my pure white sheets. My mother presses her lips together unsurely.

“There is no possible way that you couldn’t have felt something,” she rolls her eyes. “You went through the air like a ragdoll is what everyone said.” I lift my book to my face before smiling sweetly at her.

“Maybe an in-betweener caught the great adventurer then,” I gasp in a show of false excitement, leaving my mom even more annoyed than before. She tiredly pulls herself off of the bed and pats down her blouse.

“You know I hate that nickname,” she tells me nonchalantly.

“Good thing it’s not your nickname then,” I respond to her comment in under a second. She turns around and glares down at me. In her eyes, I can see that she couldn’t care less about the many skinny cuts all along my body that sting like paper cuts.

“You and I both know that you’re not this adventurer everyone at your school says you are.” My mom looks down her nose at me. “You’ve always been a drifter, Y/N.” I chuckle and shake my head and go back to reading my book.

“I’d rather be an adventurer,” I mumble under my breath as I flip through the pages to find my spot. “At least they have control over what they do.” I peek up through my eyelashes and to my mother who has given up on trying to talk to me. She groans and steps out of the room while massaging her head. Once I hear the door close I throw my book away from me and drop my head back.

The mattress creaks for a moment as it adjusts to the new, more even distribution of my weight. I look blankly around my plain white room. On small, perfectly carved shelves are little cactuses in dark cement vases shaped like cubes. The steam from the mug of chamomile tea mixes with the light colored cloud that escapes from my diffuser. They both make my room smell more alive in a way. Finally, I look up at the ceiling. During the day it is just a blank wall, but at night it is bright with colors that glow in the dark.

Achingly, I sit up, rubbing the bruise that is on my side. Beneath my t-shirt, it’s an ugly yellow and purple color that stings at the smallest touch. I push myself up and off my bed before sitting down again, only this time in my desk chair. My body takes a moment to adjust to the change in material but the moment I’ve settled in I prop open my laptop. The screen automatically wakes up and shines a bright light on my face. Typing in my password I glance out of my door to make sure my mom isn’t spying.

My computer quietly dings, alerting me that I can now use it. I quickly type what I need into the search bar while still glancing at my door. Right away, thousands of results appear on the screen, all having to do with the Spider-Man. Videos and images of the blue and red-clad hero flash on my screen as I scroll through anything that could explain my bizarre connection when I saw him pass. I click on a different website, all of which are blogs explaining theories and such about who Spider-Man may be. None provide me any solace though.

Frustratedly, I slam my laptop close, causing the few items on my desk to rattle. A hand abruptly comes to my shoulder. The little voice in my head says to swat away the in-betweeners touch but it’s the little real comfort I’m receiving right now. I groan and drop my head into my hands. In response, the coaxing fingers on my back grow gentler as they massage the little cuts all over my back.

Much like how I can feel their emotions they can feel mine as well. It has proven to be exceptionally helpful during times of stress but when I was a kid it used to frighten me whenever I’d feel there touch. I’d wake up screaming for someone to help me when their emotions got to be too much or when I could feel an icy hand running through my hair. Even now the thought of feeling what they feel terrifies me. How they go from scared to angry and angry to numb. All throughout my childhood, it was tiring so I learned how to tune their feelings out.

However, they can still feel my emotions. I’ve realized by now that one’s own emotions are harder to get rid of than other’s. It’s beneficial that my feelings can still travel between each plane of existence though. I think it offers the in-betweeners purpose in their eternal prison of a world. An escape from the constant indifference they feel from day to day until they can’t even feel that. For me, it allows a chance for me to just let my emotions ooze from every pore of my body without anyone telling me I’m being selfish or stupid with them. Instead, those from the in-between just feel with me and sympathize with it. In a way, we live symbiotically.

“Dude, dude look at that.” I jump when I hear a voice coming from the computer. The hand on my shoulder knowingly separates from me so that I can focus. Reluctantly, I open my computer again, curious as to how a video could have turned on while my laptop was closed. The video is out of focus and poorly taken in general but I can easily make out Queensborough bridge. Whoever is filming continues to rant on about what he sees as he vacillates between the giant circle spaceship that had just landed and the young man who swings away from the bridge and towards the fight.

My eyes focus more as he grows closer and closer to the cameraman. Spider-Man suddenly shoots a web at one of the New York skyscrapers and with an abrupt yank he flies upwards an out of sight. I narrow my eyes and slowly move the video backward. The hero moves back into the frame so that I can see what he is wearing. Per usual he has on his mask, but the rest of his suit is absent. Realizing something I screenshot the video and immediately move my files. I scroll through all my images until I find the image of the Spider-Man, nearly passing it before stopping.

I’ve never felt so rushed in my life. In fact, I’ve already preferred to slow things down but now I just need some sort of answer. I double click on the image, praying that the image of what he’s wearing isn’t completely blurred. As I continue zooming in I begin to recognize the symbol on his shirt. My body leans in towards the screen, probably summoning a horrid headache but I’m too enthralled with what I’m seeing to care. Finally, I zoom up to the shirt as much as I can and can’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“Midtown High,” I whisper to myself while going back to my search bar. Sure enough, the symbol matches the one in the photograph. Midtown Tech and Greenwich Montessori Academy are rivals in more ways than one. It didn’t matter if it was orchestra, theatre, sports, or debate. We always find a way to compete. That means I may have met whoever Spider-Man is during my AV meets whenever I went to the school.

Deciding what I need to do I look at my clock. I’m a little surprised to see that it is only eleven in the morning, giving me plenty of time to investigate. I nod to myself and grab my thin jacket from my closet. It slips onto my body easily as I step out of my simple room and into the hallway. Above me the lights turn on, letting my mom no I’m coming.

My mom turns to me when I step into the kitchen. She sits in front of our granite island calmly, her grace still erecting from her body like some suffocatingly perfect aura. I glare at her for a moment before looking for my keys. Thankfully, I spot them before she offers to assist me in the hunt.

“Where are you heading out to?” she wonders from her spot at the island, taking an agonizingly slow sip of one of her more expensive chardonnays. I shrug while opening the cabinet and pulling out a granola bar.

“Heading out to talk with Lily about everything that happened,” I assure and move towards our front door. Obviously still upset about earlier, my mom just huffs to show that she approves. That also tells me to expect a text a little later which will detail the exact time I need to be back home by and what I need to do tomorrow since I have the day off.

I shake my head and move to my door. The sun shines through the many panels of windows of our home, drawing me out into its warmth. To show my appreciation I smile up at it and remove myself from the house a little happier than before so that the giant star is pleased. I bounce off each of the steps that lead to our garage. With one click of my key, the wooden doors slide to the side, revealing the three Audis my parents bought as a “treat.”

I move to the matte black Audi that waits towards the front since it is the most used. Out of all the cars in this garage mine is the only hand me down, which is really saying something because it’s only two years old. My mother used it for a few days before deciding it wasn’t her style.

I click the button on my key fob, opening the doors so that I can slip inside and start the car. It hums all around me. My backbone vibrates as I press it into the leather behind my back and press on the gas. I speed down my driveway, leaving my house behind me as much as possible so that I can figure out what the hell is going on.

My car moves swiftly through the traffic until I’ve reached Greenwich. All along streets and buildings are small debris that was scattered by the spaceship. I continue forward though, taking the chance to look at all of the turmoil. It’s nothing compared to what I saw while evacuating the premises by my school. Whatever had happened during the fight caused every single window within a one block radius to shatter and bricks fell to the ground carelessly, forcing the authorities to block it off until repairs are done.

Lucky for me barely anyone is out on the streets after the whole situation. As I come to the end of the block I sigh and speed up, preferring not to see all of the ruin that was inflicted only hours ago. I coast down the street and towards Midtown. The moment I see the football field of Midtown tech I speed up subconsciously. Faster than I should, I swing into the parking lot.

A few students stare at me as I discard my keys in my back pocket after I click the button to lock it. I do my best to walk calmly but my heart is palpitating in my chest and a sheen of sweat covers my hand. They rub against my jeans, smearing it on the fabric. Reluctantly I open the double doors and look forward. They must be in class because the halls are empty except for the few teenagers who are meandering about.

I take a deep breath and move forward. My eyes move around the halls anxiously to make sure that no one is going to stop my hunt. The stone tiles under my feet quiet each of my steps enough that no one is peaking out of there classrooms to see who is wandering around during their classes. Seeking some sort of anger I rub my fingertips along the walls. Immediately, I feel balanced enough to keep going down the quiet halls.

Abruptly, my fingers hit a different material and I turn. In front of me is a giant trophy case featuring different clubs. The most noticeable is the giant picture of their AV club which hangs in the middle of the glass and is surrounded by dozens of medals that hang proudly. I study the picture closely to make out each face. I’ve seen most of these people during competitions from my last four years of high school. One of the teens in the picture draws me in closer though. I place my palm against the glass and tilt my head to the side. He has soft brown hair and eyes that glow happily. He has on Midtown’s signature bright yellow blazer that I’ve learned to hate after being beat by them the first time. My mind is hinged on what he wears underneath though and it may be one of the wildest guesses I’ve ever had it looks exactly like the jacket from the video.

“Hey,” a voice pipes up right next to me, making me jump away from the trophy case. I look to my left and see a boy about my age with tan skin watching me curiously. My fingers clunch the area over my heart. The cotton stretches beneath my grasp as I try to catch my breath.

“Sorry,” the teen apologizes. I catch my breath and nod to show my thanks.

“No, it’s okay,” I murmur breathlessly. “I should have been paying attention.” My body stills when I see the way he’s studying my face. Instinctively, I look over at the front door and think out an escape plan.

“I’ve never seen you around here,” he remarks. “Do you go to Midtown?” I gulp and look from him to the exit again, debating if running is really the best choice. Then I move my eyes back to the photo. I take a peek at the boy with the warm brown eyes and then I look to his right where the same boy who I’m talking to stands.

“Actually,” I mumble, getting an idea. “I go to Greenwich Montessori Academy. It’s like fifteen minutes away from here.” The boy’s eyes widen and he grins at me gleefully, which is the last reaction I thought I would receive.

“No way,” he laughs. “You go there. We compete against your AV club all the time.” Finding his excitement sweet I smile back.

“Yeah, I know,” I keep my tone light. “You guys are the only ones we lose to. Last year the tiebreaker round lasted an hour because me and one of your teammates kept going back and forth.” He chuckles, remembering that day as well. It was only last year but now it feels like decades ago.

“Yeah,” he sighs before abruptly extending his hand towards me. “Sorry. I’m Ned Leeds.” I stare down at his hand blankly before hesitantly shaking it.

“Y/N,” I introduce myself. “Y/N Y/L/N to be specific.” Ned nods knowingly as though he’s already known my name for years. Maybe he has.

“Oh, and his names Peter,” he pulls his hand away from mine to point at the brown-eyed boy. “He’s the guy you went up against last year for the tiebreaker.” I can’t help the lamenting expression that comes over my face when I realize his name. It’s like putting a name to the face makes this all so much worse.

“Mmm,” I hum sadly. My fingers mindlessly come up to the glass. “Is he here today?” I look back at Ned who studies me cautiously.

“Uh,” he mumbles. “Peter actually never came to school today.” I narrow my eyes a bit. If anything that only helps to confirm my idea of who the Spider-Man is. Instead of pushing it I just nod and twist away from the trophies.

“Hey, Ned I actually came here for something really important.” Right away, Ned’s eyes become glassy as if it is his best mechanism for keeping secrets. “After the whole spaceship thing, my school had to shut down so I was never able to get a book I needed for my research essay. You know how school is; it’s like the world could be ending and one teacher could still require your assignment to be in on time? Do you think I could go to your guys’ library and grab something really quick,” I shrug and internally punch myself for lying to him already. Even though I’ve never met him before it feels so wrong after how incredible he’s been to me.

“I totally get it,” he laughs. “Probably not to that extent though. I mean Midtown is still having us attend the rest of the day even after the alien incident, which was crazy cool. But sophomore year I had this horrible teacher who Peter had too and she-” as Ned rambles he begins to guide me to the school’s library. I follow him, frequently glancing around the halls and into classrooms. All the times I have been here the school was empty for the most part. The only people there were apart of the AV club in some way or another.

Finally, we reach the library and Ned pushes open the big plank doors. To not raise any suspicion I don’t take long wandering down a random aisle and looking through the many different titles. Much to my disappointment, I’ve somehow managed to end up in the single section of Midtown’s library that deals with the supernatural. Sighing, I continue to look while Ned watches.

“Is your research project on ghosts?” he wonders. I look up from the shelf and grimace.

“Ah,” I chuckle. “Yeah. We’re study religion and afterlife in school,” another lie, “and I feel like I’ve barely learned a thing.” Ned immediately nods understandingly.

“What class are you studying all this stuff for?” he asks as I continue sifting through the books. “Theology?” Finally, I pluck a book from the shelf and look it over. When I was younger my mom had me read the exact same one to better understand the in between.

“Yep,” I answer plainly while flipping through the pages. It seems brand new for a book I read when I was younger which luckily means that it won’t be missed. “Thank you, Ned. This means the world to me.” I beam up at him politely. He smiles back before casually shrugging.

“It’s nothing,” he responds, “but once you’re done with your research can you bring it back.”

“Of course,” I reassure as I tuck the book under my arm. “Maybe I can hunt you down at our next football game and give it to you then. That is if you can promise me that I won’t be burned at the stake by the other people from your school.” Ned laughs at my joke the moment it leaves my lips.

“No promises,” he manages to say through his laughter. I can’t help but to suddenly think how nice it would be to transfer here out of the blue one day. No one would know the truth about what I can do or patronize me for my gifts. It would be like starting brand new. Not a soul here would think much of my “quirks” or the ways I space out in the middle of hallways or in classrooms. I’d be normal. I’d be Y/N Y/L/N, normal teenage girl with a nice home life, not the adventurer.

“If you can find me I can introduce you to Peter,” he interrupts my train of thought suddenly. “I’m sure he’d like you a ton but you guys would probably argue a ton. Especially since you’ve been sort of rivals since we competed against your AV team freshman year.” I nod, faking a smile because the thoughts in my head are still stalking nefariously around me.

“I’d love to,” I tell him, “But I really should be getting home, Ned.”

“Oh yeah,” he replies. “Sorry for keeping you so long.” I wave my hand to dismiss his apology as I begin walking towards the library doors with him.

“It’s no problem,” I assure him and open the doors to step back out of the hallway. “I hope I didn’t keep you from class.” Mimicking my earlier movement, Ned shakes his right hand in the air.

“This is my off period anyways. I was just waiting for Peter to come to school.” I pick up on the hollowness in his voice but decide not to mention anything. My head drops as I debate on what to say. It feels weird just to cut the conversation off here but the right words seem to be lodged in my throat.

“Was he supposed to come today?” I ask in a low tone. Ned shoves his hands in his jacket pockets so that they don’t fiddle with each other.

“Depends on what he was late for,” he answers quietly and I know it’s not just to keep from attracting the attention of all the different classes going on right now. I pocket my hands as well and lift my shoulders awkwardly.

“I’m sure he’ll be okay,” I comfort him. “Peter probably just got held up or something.” Even though I don’t mean for it to happen I feel hope aching all up my sides as though I’m trying to convince myself of the same thing. I watch Ned to see if he seems to feel a little better because of my comment. His eyes remain on the floor as we walk towards the exit though and I decide not to do more.

Just when we reach the front there shrill bell rings and hundreds of students swarm the halls. I stare in stupid awe for a moment, never seeing so many students crowded into on space before now. Ned looks around abruptly, just as panicked but probably for different reasons.

“Uh,” he murmurs before looking back at me. “I need to go or else I’ll be late to my next class. It was nice to meet you Y/N.” I watch, a little bewildered as Ned twirls around and easily begins moving through the crowd of people. As I’m watching him disappear I can’t help but feel a cold, ominous ache move up and out of my spine.

While I still have accessibility to this world I turn away from the hoard of students and step out of the school. I stumble across the sidewalk, trying to get a grip on the transition and stall it so that I’m not randomly stuck in the in between. I gasp when I suddenly trip on some invisible item and fall forward. The bottom of my palms scrape against the asphalt of the parking lot and I have to bite back the tears that begin to well in my eyes while I stand. Ignoring the blood that drips down my fingers I hunt for my car. With an obvious limp, I begin walking towards my Audi which remains patient as I click the button on the key fob to unlock it.

“Not now,” I beg quietly as to not attract so much attention from the Midtown students. Just when my consciousness begins flickering back and forth between the two worlds I open my door and collapse into the driver’s seat. Like it knows I’m safe once the door closes the transition completes and I’m sitting in the midst of the in between. I sigh and close my eyes, blinking away the stinging tears that had accumulated only moments earlier. Limply, I toss the book to the side and take a long, deep breath.

All of the sudden I hear the pages flutter next to me and I turn. Covering one side of the book is the warped space I usually see when an in-betweener is around. I pay attention to the way they turn the pages to find what they’re looking for. Finally, the flutter of paper ends and the in-betweener lets go of the book so I can get a closer look. I scoff when I see the first word of the page.

“Prophet,” I laugh cruelly. “Whoever you are, you should know that I’m not a prophet of any god and every word in this book is bullshit.” When there is no sense of a reply I roll my eyes. “Like mom says,” the world begins flickering away from my vision so that I can return back to the living plane, “I’m just a drifter.”


	3. Fade Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***** Marks the beginning and end of a flashback/dream.

People surround me, attempting to get a few words in with the adventurer at Lily’s end of the world party. It is in no way the end of the world though. In fact, it’s like everyone has returned to their normal everyday life, or they’re trying to. That’s the reason Lily is even throwing a party tonight. She believes it’s better to cope while drunk on your parents’ whiskey rather than actually understanding what is going on. Maybe I would be doing the same thing as her if things like drugs and alcohol didn’t affect my abilities so much. Hang on some random junior from the Academy and pass around a joint. God. I wish I could get lost in it all.

The cup of beer in my hand is still full though and I haven’t laid a finger on any sort of drug since the incident two years ago. I intend to make sure I never do again. Suddenly, I swat a hand away from me but it isn’t an in-betweener’s. In front of me is a sophomore boy, drunk off his ass with a smug look on his face. He says something but I can’t be bothered to listen. Deciding I don’t feel like dealing with him I swerve past the lowerclassman and begin making my way towards where Lily is. Clouds of vape burst across my vision and I cough, bothered by the saccharine smells.

“Baby!” Lily hiccups as soon as she sees me through the crowd of our peers. Just as I thought she has slung her body over a juniors lap who seems especially happy about the situation. I smile and roll my eyes, still finding it in me to adore my best friend in a bubbly state such as this. Moving past high teens I make my way across the room and to the couch where she sits mimicking the posture of some sort of goddess.

“Hey beautiful,” I wink at her jokingly, throwing her into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. “I think I’d better get home.” As soon as the words leave my mouth Lily’s giggling is replaced with a frown and she stares up at me with wide green puppy-dog eyes.

“But, Y/N,” she laments while pulling herself off the boy’s lap, “I’ve barely gotten a chance to talk to you. Also, you haven’t even finished your drink yet.” Lily points down at my red cup to make a point.

“You know I can’t drink. Not with my gift,” I remind. Lily watches me sadly for a moment, sobering up so she can sympathize with me. Abruptly she pulls me into a hug that is tight enough to make my spine crack. I chuckle and tuck my nose into her warm brown skin that smells like honey. She pulls away abruptly and makes direct and unnerving eye contact with me.

“Text me the moment you get home,” she asserts and I feel myself shrink a bit under her harsh gaze.

“Of course,” I promise and hug her again. She sighs, her breath somehow not filled with the scent of the strong liquor she was drinking only moments earlier. “I always do.” Finally, I pull away from her body and grin to comfort her. In Lily’s eyes, I can tell she knows somethings up. For as long as we’ve known each other she’s been able to read me like a goddamn book. I think that may just be her superpower. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” Lily responds sadly. As I’m backing away I shoot a glare at the boy who tugs my best friend back into his lap. He meets my eyes in a moment and looks down fearfully, not wanting to incur the wrath of the ghost girl. I smirk to myself when I turn away and begin walking towards the door. People call out my name so that they can talk to me even for a moment but I ignore each and everyone, just desiring to get home at this point.

Finally, I push past the double doors and enter the night. The pale moon shines a light on every single blade of dewy grass, creating an ocean of pure white. I giggle and move down Lily’s front walk and towards my car. Even outside I can hear the hollering of the students enjoying the part. A piece of me hates them for that. That they all can go about and do what they please without nearly dying. At least most of the time.

An image of hospital lights flash overhead and I have to lean against my car to keep from falling at the sight of them. Like a bird swooping in and out of view, the vision is fleeting, and as soon as it has disappeared from my mind I walk around my car and get inside. The dashboard automatically lights up and drive away.

As I’m driving home I find that the streets are empty for the most part. The only exception being the very few people driving home from their late shifts. I find comfort in the unusually quiet streets. Seeing that no one is behind me and my mother hadn’t texted me a specific curfew besides be home by the time I wake up tomorrow I take my time driving home so that I can enjoy the way the light emitted by the intersections look in the thick mist that has settled upon Greenwich suddenly. Slowly, I come to a halt at the last stop light before I reach my neighborhood. Enjoying the feeling of the cold, wet air when I roll down my window down, I drop my head against the back of my seat.

All of the sudden, pain bolts through my chest though and I gasp for air. Lurching forward, my hand hits the wheel and causes a long drawn out horn to break the silent air. I cry out and clench my jaw. My body stays paralyzed for a good five minutes, adjusting to the pain and pure anxiety I just experienced. The light had gone through a full cycle three times until the emotion disappeared enough for me to move again. Hesitantly, I look down and at my chest where the pain rooted from. My heart stops when I see the dark purple bruise branching up from my sternum and over my collarbone. I touch the bruise and wince.

“What the fuck?” I question. Looking around wildly, I try searching for an in-betweener who may have inflicted the injury upon me. All I find is a completely empty car though. I lift a hand to my face and run it through my hair, pulling at half of the strands that were pulled into a bun.

“HEY!” someone shouts at me. I look in my rearview mirror and see a car waiting for me to move behind my own Audi. Gulping down my fear I press down on my pedal and move to the right side of the road. As the person passes they lift their middle finger at me and speed away. I groan and rub aimlessly at my chest, wondering how in the hell a giant bruise like that just appeared.

The moment I see my house I’m relieved which is definitely a first. Haphazardly, I park my car in the garage and walk towards the front door. I pray that when I come in Max doesn’t bark at all. Knowing my mom won’t be angry if he does though I swing open the door fearlessly only to be met with the Australian Shepherd who is lazily stretched out on the wooden tiles. He offers me a dopey smile which I return as I kneel down to his level and scratch his ear.

“Hey big boy,” I whisper. “How come you’re still up?” Max stands with me and shakes his thick brown, black, and white coat. We wander down to my room together, ignoring the overhead lights as they turn on when they sense our presence so that we don’t trip over each other. At the end of the hall, I can see my mother and father’s bedroom door that is barely cracked open enough for me to see the light of someone’s phone. For some reason, I feel the need to look away in shame.

I push my door open and Max immediately rushes in and jumps on my bed with a wagging tail, making me giggle. Lazily I toss my keys onto my desk and drop my jacket on the floor. Max watches curiously as I pull off my shirt and look into the mirror.

I’m shocked when I see my reflection. Only ten minutes ago there was a giant bruise covering the entirety of my chest up to my collarbone. Now, I am only met with my chest that has no purple, yellow or green marks on it. I run my fingers over my ribs to see if I can feel any pain from the contact. There’s nothing though. Just the feeling of skin lightly brushing against skin, a touch that I never really appreciated until this moment. I press my hand against my sternum and sigh.

“Okay,” I mumble. “We’re okay.” After I peek in the mirror again I waddle over to my bed and fall onto the soft mattress. Right away I snuggle into my comforters and close my eyes, willing sleep to envelope me before the nightly event begins.

I’m younger here. A sophomore with hope coiled inside of me like a child’s slinky before trying to make it leap down the stairs. Lily sits across from me at the lunch table. I scroll through my Instagram feed, seeing what people have been posting about the Avengers most recent battle.  
*****

 _“Y/N.” I lift my eyes when I hear Lily calls me only to be met with her skinny_ juul _. I stare blankly at it and raise an eyebrow._

_“What?” I wonder with furrowed brows, not sure what she wants me to do. Lily rolls her eyes and pushes the item close to me._

_“You should try it,” she encourages. I just scoff and look back down at my phone._

_“Thanks but no,” I mumble and double click my home button to switch to Twitter. “You know I don’t do anything like that.” When I glance at Lily through my hair I see her rolling her eyes while taking another hit. She leans in towards me and blows the steam right into my face. I choke on the faux smell of peaches and turn away._

_“Dude,” I cough._

_“Come on Y/N,” she moans and offers it to me again. “It’s gonna happen sooner or later. Might as well get used to it.” I nod sarcastically and swat it away from me._

_“You can’t know that,” I hiss. Lily’s stubborn though, and the little black thing stays right next to my lips._

_“You go to a hippy liberal school in New York,” she informs me. “It’s gonna happen.” I spare the_ juul _another look hesitantly. I know better. I know that doing anything unusual may disrupt my connection with the in-between, but the begging look in Lily’s eyes is enough to make me take the item from her. She smirks victoriously as I turn the mouthpiece towards my dry lips and take a shaky breath._

 _“One hit,” I reaffirm. Hesitantly, I put it in my mouth. The moment the drug hits my tongue I feel repulsed by the feeling and pull it out of my mouth. Coughing out loud I toss Lily’s_ juul _back to her. She laughs sweetly as the steam sputters out of my throat._

_“Like it?” she chuckles. I roll my eyes and flip her off while grabbing my phone again._

_“God no,” I tell her while gritting my teeth, the peachy taste still stuck in my throat. She pats my shoulder hand softly. The moment her skin meets mine I’m jolted forward through the day until I’m in my sixth-period class. I tap my finger paranoidly on my desk and glance around._

_Hundreds if not thousands of hands run around my body by I can’t make out any in-betweeners. I flash in and out of this world uncontrollably despite how hard I cling. Beads of sweat drip from my face and my teacher stares at me blankly._

_“Y/N sweetheart, are you okay?” The moment she asks it I stand from my seat and shake my head. My chair falls backward and onto the linoleum with a loud thud. I stare down at my hands which fade in and out of sight and I nearly faint when I realize that they remind of the warped space when in-betweeners are around._

_“No,” I mumble, suddenly feeling sick beyond belief. Hurriedly I sprint over to the trash can and vomit into it. I cling to the bag as I continue hurling into it, feeling weaker and weaker as more is released from me._

_The dream doesn’t continue as it should though. Abruptly, I’m taken from my dream and placed on an entirely different planet. The ground beneath me is course and the color of rust. My fingers dig into the rough sand and I lift it to my face. I study the material as it falls through my nimble fingers and hits the planet’s crust._

_“Something’s happening,” a woman announces. I twist around wildly to face her and demand some sort of answer about where I am. When I meet her wide eyes that stare straight into mine though I’m shocked. Whoever she is, she is absolutely not human. I step closer to her, taking in her pale skin, pure black eyes and skinny antennas. The moment I open my mouth to question her she begins turning to ash._

_I watch in horror as what remains of the woman brushes past my face as though it is one last scared attempt to cling to life. My vision flickers away for a moment. When it returns there is yet another alien figure in front of me, only this one has grey and red skin with broad shoulders. He stares right through me, obviously not realizing I’m here with him._

_“Quill?” he mumbles before fading into ash as well. I turn slowly to where he was looking and find myself face to face with a man who I believe to be human. He, just like the other, doesn’t notice me as he looks down at his hands that begin turning to ash._

_“Oh man.” Just like the others, he disappears, his ashes whispering along my skin as I begin to cry. I begin hugging my body desperately to try and quiet the whimpers that escape my already raw throat. My eyes shut, not wanting to see any more death._

_“Tony…” another voice begins but I keep my eyes closed, unwilling to watch as another person dies. “There was no other way.”_

_“Mr. Stark?” For some strange reason, this is the voice that completely breaks me. My head snaps up and I look at a young man, dressed in a metal Spider-Man suit who hugs himself like I’m doing. He looks up and I understand that each of us knows what is going to happen next._

_I stand on my weak legs, staring right at the boy who can’t even see me. My stomach is in hurtful knots when I realize he’s the boy Ned promised I would meet one day. God, I don’t want to meet him like this._

_“I don’t feel so good,” he slurs his words. With a choked gasp I begin backing away. I can’t find any sort of courage in me to watch him of all people disappear and stain my body with ash. All of_ the sudden _he falls forward and into my arms. A sob escapes my scratchy throats as he wraps his arms around me and begins to cry as well. Despite the voice in my head telling me not to I wrap my arms around his torso and pull him closer to me._

_“I don’t want to go,” he bawls into my chest. “Please, I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go,” he repeats. I bow my head and look down, finding that not only is the boy I’m holding turning to ash but so am I. I hide my face in his chestnut curls and cry out, scared beyond belief._

_“I’ll go with you,” I promise, hoping he may just hear. “We’ll go together. We’ll go together.” Suddenly, the boy falls back and I go down with him. He stares_ tto _his right as my body begins to disintegrate more and more. I find that my vision becomes blotchy with dark spots and soon enough the only thing I can see is his calming brown eyes as he turns back towards me._

_“I’m sorry,” he whispers. I place a hand on his face as I begin fading away with him._

_“Me too.”_  
*****

I shoot up from my comforters that have become damp with sweat. My hands cling to my sides as I make sure I’m still pieced together. Much to my relief I haven’t turned to ash or disappeared but that doesn’t make what I just experienced any less real. Searching for solace after such a terrible nightmare I look to my hands. I only find more horror etched into my skin though. Tucked into the creases of my palms are flakes of ash. A silent scream escapes my throat as I glare down at them.

Because of my sudden outburst, hundreds if not thousands of in-betweeners come to me. Despite my efforts all of their own fear and pain and suffering bleeds into my head, making what I’m going through a million times worse. I hyperventilate while holding my hands far away from me. Just like sophomore year, hands begin stroking my exposed skin. I grind my teeth to trap the sob that bursts through my throat.

“Please go away,” I mumble. “I can’t do anything for you. Go away.” The hands and emotions stay persistent though. “I can’t help any of you. I can’t save your souls. Please, please, please go away. Please-” my head lulls to the side slowly when my breathing becomes too short. Achingly I fall backward and onto my bed when my breathing stops completely from having such a severe panic attack, allowing me to fall back asleep.

Hours later I wake to the shining sun bouncing into my room. I have to squint my eyes because of such an extremely bright sunrise. After I few minute of adjusting to the light I yawn and stretch out on the bed, running my hands through my tangled hair and across my messy comforter. Something weighs down on the mattress next to me but I just figure it’s Max. Smiling to myself I turn around on my bed and run and drop my arms around him, finding comfort in the fact that he stayed throughout the night.

“Max,” I begin to wearily open my eyes, “you’re such a good-” my words get caught in my throat when I find myself staring right at a sleeping boy who had covered himself in my sheets. My mouth drops open and I stare at him blankly for a moment, unsure of what I do in a scenario such as this. My heart skips a beat when his eyes crack open, forcing me to realize this is actually happening. He stares at me tiredly, obviously still unable to differentiate reality from his dream. My heartbeat picks up again and I can’t help the frightened shriek of horror I let out right next to his ear.

And god, if he wasn’t awake before then he is now.


	4. A Butterfly's Wing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for disappearing on you guys so suddenly! Since it's Spring break I'm hoping to make up for some lost time while I have the chance. I hope you guys enjoy!

When I was little, my mother taught me about karma. She told me it was in our everyday life and that it’s the consequence of every action we make. I believed it for a very, very long time. Four years almost. Then I was taunted, hurt, ignored, and fled from. All because of the gifts I was given to help those who suffer in the in-between to face the consequences of their actions. Karma couldn’t find these people though. The people who taunted me. Even people out in the world didn’t face consequences for their horrid and disgusting actions. Then I realized that I was being punished instead. Punished for a crime I didn’t even know I committed. I was forced to take this gift- this curse on my shoulders the moment I was born.

That’s the day I stopped believing in karma as well as the grand purpose of my abilities, chalking it all up to the unfairness of the world. I went about the life of a normal teenage girl, not talking to the in-betweeners when they came to me seeking solace, not hiding behind a curtain of hair or preferring to stay as far from most people except for Lily and my teachers. From that day on I understood that there was no such thing as karma or fate or the grandiose knowledge of the universe. I accepted that our lives lacked reason.

This could make me think otherwise though.

The boy in front of me shoots up in my bed as I continue screaming out in fear. He reaches out towards me, mumbling soft, confused words but I jump away from his touch, consequently falling off of my bed and landing on my back with a thud. Despite the pain, I continue screaming. To my dismay, the boy is incredibly stubborn, even when I’m practically yelling his ear off.

“Hey,” he tries to soothe my implacable shrieking while looking over the edge of my mattress and down at me. “Hey, it’s okay I’m not going to hurt you. I-I’m-” he hesitates for a moment, which is long enough for me to plan an escape route. “I’m Spider-Man.” He takes his chance to gesture to the shiny suit. I freeze once he makes his confession and slowly look away from the door. He watches me closely, hoping I won’t begin screaming again.

As I’m looking into his light brown eyes I remember the night previous to this morning. My mind flashes across the image of him, in his suit and all, clinging to life as he faded into ash while tucked against my body. Although I don’t scream I back away from the hero slowly and take a shaky breath in. I pray that my senses may just be overrun by everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours but my stomach is still bubbling over with pure dread.

“No,” I mumble as I run a hand through my tangled hair. “This can’t be happening. This can’t…” Clumsily, I push myself off the floor and grab my phone. A piece of me hopes that what I’m thinking is not true. Actually, the entirety is already considering how this is all apart of my imagination.

“What?” Peter, if I remember correctly murmurs from my bed while studying me move backward and towards my door. Not once breaking eye contact I push down on the handle and escape the cramped white space. The lights automatically turn on overhead as some sort of hello and I find that deep within myself I hate the amount of faux light guiding me to my living room. I stumble down the hallway, half listening to Peter as he follows me out and half listening to the tv my mom and dad must’ve left on before leaving for work.

“Sources are informing us now that the king of Wakanda, T’Challa has disappeared, leaving the country in the hands of his younger sister, Shuri,” the news reporter states in an all too calm voice. “He along with an approximated two billion people have vanished from unknown causes, leaving many to theorize that it may have been due to the alien sighting in Greenwich, New York yesterday.” As she talks images of absolute turmoil play on the screen, showcasing planes crashing into buildings and people flat out fading from vision. I gasp and fall backward, landing on my couch.

Without even thinking about it I’ve already pulled out my phone and begun scrolling through the hundreds of notifications on my lock screen. Most of which are from Lily. Immediately, I click on her name and wait for her to pick up my call.

“Oh my god Y/N,” she begins, seemingly hyperventilating. “Why-why the hell didn’t you pick up any of my calls? Twenty-two. I left twenty-fucking-two messages and you couldn’t bother picking up a single one. Really?” I endure her barrage, taking the time given to me to look up at the screen, still completely paralyzed.

“I-I’m sorry,” I stutter. “I had a nightmare and didn’t walk up until late. I’m sorry Lily.” I listen worriedly as she sighs and shakes her head.

“Have you at least called your parents?” she wonders.

“No-uh,” I whisper, turning back to Peter slowly. “I’ll do that right now actually.” She must hear something in my voice because Lily doesn’t respond quickly like usual. Instead, she considers my tone.

“Okay,” she grumbles. “Call me later.” I nod and let out a quiet murmur of agreement. Still keeping my eyes on Peter, for the most part, I text my mom, telling her I’m alright after glancing over the dozens of texts she and my dad both sent to me.

“What’s going on?” Peter asks me. “Where am I and who are you?” I ignore his question for a second to study the lines of his body. Little flecks of ash float from his figure before disappearing completely. They move infinitely and his body naturally replaces itself before any piece of him can truly be missed. I find myself a little amazed that he hasn’t realized what is happening but I force myself to hold my tongue, knowing that it would only upset the hero more.

“I’m Y/N,” I tell him in a barely audible voice. “You’re in my house.” Peter looks at me a moment more before staring around curiously. “Do you remember anything before you came here?” His eyes slowly move back to me. His soft brown hair is a little mussed on the side where he rested on my pillow but other than that it looks unbelievably silky. If I were in anymore shock I’d probably walk over to him and brush it with my fingers to see how it feels.

“Uh-” he chuckles, obviously feeling nervous about answering my question. “I definitely wasn’t here.” I nod at the speed of molasses, thinking through his responses entirely.

“You weren’t on this planet,” I continue. “That’s what you mean right?” Peter narrows his eyes at me and takes a step closer to my frozen body.

“Yeah,” he drones. “How do y-”

“An orange planet,” I mumble. “The color of rust.” Peter takes another, far more reluctant step towards me. I respond by taking a step of my own towards him. My eyes float to the ash again and my stomach churns with the memory of holding the hero close to me.

“Who-”

“Y/N,” I repeat. “I told you this. Now, what do you remember from the planet?” I stay persistent with my interrogation, finding it annoying that he asked my name again. Tearing my eyes from the ashes I wring my hands out and enamor myself with the way my fingers curl around each other. When I look up his lips are pursed, showing that he is still holding back.

“I remember some alien guy with a metal gauntlet that could…” Peter’s voice fades out as he nears the end of his sentence. For a single second his eyes flash back to the screen that still shows videos of absolute chaos.

“Peter.” He looks up to me when my voice cracks, seemingly more shocked by the desperation in my voice rather than the fact I know his name. “I need to know what happened.” Peter bites his lip and sighs, thankfully seeing no other way to figure out what is going on than to tell me as much as he knows.

“Everyone told me it could wipe out half of the universe.” I choke on the air filling my lungs and move back a bit. My eyes are locked onto Peter’s milk chocolate orbs while I find my way to the couch and sit down. Inside my chest, I can feel my heart beating at an unsafely fast rate, causing me to silently gasp for air. In my head I can still see Peter turning to ash beneath me, tears streaming from his pale cheeks and the lonely and frightened words, _“I’m sorry,_ flowing past his lips.

“Look Y/N,” he steps closer to me again, “I get that you’re scared but I need to figure out how I got-” I jolt away from his fingertips when they approach my exposed skin. My breathing and heart rate pick up as I stare up at the hero with narrowed, rage-filled eyes.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I growl. Peter raises his hands defensively but before he can apologize I jump over the back of the couch and begin heading towards the front door. He shouts for me to come back but I’ve already grabbed the spare keys. Angrily, I fling the door open and slam it shut, too upset and scared and full of emotions that I don’t quite remember that my actions may just break the glass surrounding our entrance. Even if the windows did shatter I don’t think I could’ve heard it. Filling every inch of my mind is Peter, the Spider-Man, pleading to my shaking body as ash floated from his body that spasmed with whimpers.

“Y/N! Wait,” Peter shouts for me. I turn around to see that he has managed to discard the metal suit and replace it with his everyday one. He sprints across my grass to catch up to me. I wince a little, seeing just how fast he is and knowing I won’t be reaching my car in time to escape him.

“Leave me alone, Spider-Man,” I growl cruelly. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.” I speed walk into my garage and jump into the driver’s seat of my car. Much to my relief, Peter had decided to heed my words and stop following me. My eyes barely dart to the side so that I can see him, standing confused and lost on my front lawn. Sighing, I speed out into the small street of our property this is surrounded by trees and drop my head a bit.

“What am I gonna do?” I ask myself hopelessly. Suddenly, there is a tug on the right sight of my chest and I look over, thinking I may be met with the presence of an in-betweener. Instead, my eyes meet Peter’s and for the second time today I scream right into his face.

Luckily, I only shriek for a moment. Unluckily we both jolt forward when the front of my car slams straight into a tree.

I stare right at Peter, who barely even moved from his spot even though he didn’t have a seatbelt on. We maintain eye contact for a moment before he hesitantly turns his head towards where we collided with the oak. He clicks his tongue on the roof of my mouth.

“Uh-” he whispers. “You hit a tree.” The moment the words pass his lips I laugh frustratedly.

“No fucking shit,” I groan and drop my head onto the leather steering wheel. “What am I gonna do?” I repeat, my voice with far, far more sadness than before. Peter adjusts himself in his seat so he’s actually sitting properly.

“Well I would call Triple-A,” he tells me and I press my skin further into the leather.

“No you fucking idiot,” I hiss and lift my head to glare at him. “What am I going to do about you? Why the hell did you just apparate into my goddamn car.” Peter gestures wildly with his hands without reason, subsequently just swinging them through the air awkwardly. I watch the action with a slight curiosity in my eyes. Far in the back of my head I can’t help but wonder how this kid could possibly be the famous Spider-Man.

“Hey!” he shouts. “I’m not the one who just crashed her car into a tree! And what am I going to do about you? You know my secret identity!” I throw my hands up in the air, an equal amount of exasperation and frustration put into my movements.

“I already fucking knew!” I retort without thought. Peter furrows his brows at me and before he can ask I continue. “You didn’t make it that hard. What superhero runs around in their school t-shirt and mask? That just seems like horrible logic to me.” With that comment I open the door of my car and step out, sighing from relief when I see that there isn’t too much damage. The bumper is hopefully the only thing dinged up.

“There is no way that you could’ve figured it out just from a shirt.” I moan and begin rubbing my temples when my headache from only moments earlier returns. “Tons of people have that same exact shirt,” Peter announces. I numbly drop my head onto my shoulder so that I’m looking at Peter.

“Your friend, Ned?” I begin. “Yeah, well he sucks at keeping a secret.” Peter glares at me before sliding across the hood of my Audi to get to me faster. “Dude,” I groan and point limply at my car, just imagining the dent he could’ve made.

“What is going on,” he says under his breath. I cock an eyebrow and look up at him, a little amused at his assertive tone. Running my tongue across my teeth I go through a silent debate on what exactly I should and can say to Peter. If I’m right and he’s somehow made it to the in-between after turning to ash then I can’t just tell him he’s dead. It’s most definitely not that simple. I also can’t keep it from him forever though. There is one thing I am curious about though.

“Walk,” I tell him, deciding on a plan.

“What?” he questions me. I roll my head tiredly and drop my eyes to the pavement. After a moment of concentrating on staying calm I look up at him, a sarcastic smile plastered on my chapped lips.

“I have a theory,” I inform. “I’ll stay here and you walk back towards my house.” Peter studies me for a few seconds, which I allow. In his mind, I can tell he’s trying to figure out if I’m being serious or this is just some practical joke. I remain patient while he debates on whether or not he should do as I say.

Peter finally begins making his way back down the lonely street, constantly looking back to make sure I’m not going to get in my car and drive away again. Maybe he thinks I’d go as far as trying to run him over. I scoff at the thought and bow my head so he can’t see the subtle smirk on my lips.

“How long am I going to have to-” Peter’s voice is cut off randomly and I look up to see what happened. My eyes look up and into the trees, fearing that he may have just swung up and is now watching me from the lush green canopy. I find nothing though and I begin believing the best.

“Please be someone else’s problem,” I beg while crossing my fingers. “Please, please, please be-” All of the sudden Peter appears in front of me and I jump at his appearance. He looks at me before looking down at his hands and finally to where he was only seconds earlier, just as curious as me. I stare straight forward placidly, too annoyed to acknowledge my racing heart before stepping back towards my car and turning the engine back on.

“Seems that we’re stuck together Spidey-Boy,” I say while closing my door and rolling down the window. He turns towards me quickly, not even realizing that I had gotten back into my car. When he doesn’t understand what I’m implying I roll my eyes and lean across my center console. With more effort than I’m willing to give right now I open the door and go back to my original position.

“Now get in,” I declare. “I have another theory.”

* * *

 

Lily stares blankly at me, paralyzed from what I’ve just said even when she’s already struggling to hold the giant mug of coffee to her lips. She gapes at me a moment more before lightly licking her lips. The coffee in her black mug sloshes around when she sets it down on the table.

“Are you high?” she asks without even looking up from her teal stained table. I furrow my brows and laugh for a moment at the blatancy of her question.

“God, no Lily. You know as well as I do what happens when I do.” I feel Peter’s intense gaze against the side of my hide and I gulp, knowing that last statement is going to come back to bite me. Chewing on my lip I lean across the table. “Lily I need you to be absolutely honest with me right now. You need to tell me if you see a guy about our age right next to me, got it?” Lily finally breaks her stare from the table and stares towards the side of me, her eyes filled with worry.

“No Y/N,” she mumbles. “I don’t see anyone next to you.” I narrow my eyes and share a look with Peter.

“Are you positive?” I request again. “Lily I need to be-”

“Yes, Y/N,” she interrupts me angrily, clutching her mug so tight that her knuckles have turned white. “God, what the hell happened to you yesterday? You cried over seeing the Spider-Man and when you picked me up you had that stupid fucking book your mom forced on you when we were what, seven?” My eyes fall to the floor, feeling absolutely embarrassed by both sets of eyes on me. “And now you’re ranting about being able to see an in-betweener? That has never happened Y/N,” Lily rants frustratedly. “Are you okay?” I bite my lip and shrug.

“I have some things I need to sort out,” I inform her in a monotone voice as I pick up my phone and keys. Peter has already stood from the table and is now waiting for me to follow. “I’ll see you later.” Before Lily can protest I hurry away from her and out the door with Peter right on my tail. I throw open my car door and slide in. My breathing comes out in short huffs that leave me clinging to myself.

Peter moves into the car reluctantly, keeping a close eye on me. “Y/N,” he starts. “Are- you’re, uh-” He stops and points to my cheeks, not getting too close so I don’t get even more upset. I touch the pads of my quaking fingers to my face, finding that it’s covered in hot tears. Not wasting a moment, I push them away with the back of my hand and turn on the car. Instead of driving though I look over at Peter, my eyes brimming with liquid sorrow.

“I’m sorry,” I lament, my voice dripping with sincerity. Peter tilts his head to the side.

“Why are you sorry?” he asks, a comforting smile on his lips. I bow my head and look forward. Hundreds if not thousands of emotions overwhelm me, not coming from in-betweeners but myself. It feels suffocating and I hate it.

“She couldn’t see you,” I recall. With my best effort, I swallow down the thick lump in my throat. “Only I can.” Feeling Peter’s eyes on me I haphazardly wipe my nose.

“Well, I’d prefer you being able to see me rather than some random person who doesn’t know what’s going on,”  Peter offers me an explicitly nervous smile that makes me grimace. The hope in his eyes falters for a moment when I avert my gaze. “You do know what’s going on, right?” The brick that was in my throat reappears when he asks that question.

_“You do know what’s going on, right?” I ask my mother. She smiles down at me saccharinely. Her soft hand finds the side of my face as she pulls me into her warm embrace, silencing the quiet whimperings that drip from my lips._

_“Of course darling,” she reassures. She lies._

To this day I despise my mother for that lie. That stupid fucking lie I believed in. I hate her for what she said and as I’m debating on what to tell Peter I can’t help but think that I don’t want him to hate me.

“No,” I confess, shoving away the lie my mother gave me and replacing it with the truth. I see Peter visibly sag, “but I promise on everything I am and ever will be, I will figure it out. I promise Peter. You just need to trust me and my methods and I’ll trust you back, okay.” The young superhero looks up at me and I can’t help but get caught on the glow in his eyes. It is almost enough to make me beam at him. Instead, I remain placid as Peter nods shortly.

When I was little, my mother taught me about karma. She told me it was in our everyday life and that it is the consequence of every action we make. Much to my dismay, she was right… mostly.

Karma doesn’t just come from one person. It’s the flap of a butterfly wing. You feel it. The soft flutter that just smooths past your face before carrying on. Sometimes that light breeze travels all the way across the world. Like a wave, it just grows bigger and bigger and bigger until it reaches the shore and the people are shocked because it’s become a tsunami. I wasn’t the only one punished for what I’ve done. That flap of a butterfly’s wing traveled all the way across the galaxy and it found Peter. Peter who literally saves people for god knows what reason. Peter whose top priority is to make others feel better and safer even when he’s scared too. Our bad actions don’t just backfire on us. When the dust settles you find that there are people around you. People just as frightened as you with the shrapnel and debris of your own karma laying deep within there chests.

Peter isn’t just the collateral damage though. I feel it deep within my soul that he’s more but I can’t place what exactly. There’s just an ache inside of me. A feeling begging to just… act. I hold it in though, offering Peter a smile and shaking the emotion away before I begin driving.


End file.
